The Right Head Oath

OK Fellas. In the wake of this Lawrence Taylor accusation of rape, it’s time for us to take a stand. Take a stand on which head that we decide to use when making decisions.

I understand that times change in a relationship…your significant other might not be ‘Putting out’ like they once did, or as often as you would like, or you may just feel the urge to put another notch in the headboard that is your sex life.

Is this caused by a complete lack of Moral Fiber?
Is this just playing into the old adage, ‘A man is going to be a man?’

Whatever it is, we must get a grip on it.

There are feelings involved that could have extreme ramifications if mishandled. There are family members (children, significant others) that could feel the impact of your decision for years to come for your 20 seconds of pleasure. Not to say that the entire act will last ONLY 20 secs (LOL)..but you know what I’m talking about…or do you?!…see their I go encouraging yuor EGO and belittling your ‘Southern Hospitality’..LOL (that was a genitalia reference for all the slow pokes reading this!)..I digress further.

Point being, you gotta think. Exercise caution. Do all the things that Lawrence Taylor is being accused of doing. A few questions to ask yourself before Knocking Boots could include, but definitely not limited to the following:

1. Is she a Minor
2. What are the laws of the state I’m in. (If you take the time to Google state laws…you likely are way too much of a nerd ot get any anyway…or you’re a resourceful, attractive, suave, ‘Most Interesting man in the World’ type such as myself! *Yeah I said it!*
3. Am I willing to risk the current relationship that I’m in?
4. Do I have protection?
5. Can my uncontrollable desires be controlled by a single set of 100 push-up accompanied by a Cold Shower?
6. What would Jesus Do?
7. Could this be an episode of Cheaters?
8. Could I contract something that medical science can’t explain or cure?
9. Will this one conquest REALLY get me even close to being in contention with the likes of Wilt Chamberlain or the HIV-infected Magic Johnson (no pun intended with the use of his name ‘Magic’ and ‘Johnson’..again…another quick hitting humorous genitalia reference for all you slow pokes still reading this post!).
10. Is their a Cost (literally a financial cost) associated with this Boot Knocking..in other words…Could this be considered a "Transaction" and not just "Meaningless F*cking"?!

So, fellas, stand-up proudly…raise your right hand and with your left hand grab ahold of your ‘Johnson’, and take "The Right Head Oath"

The Right Head Oath

"I, <state your name>, will think with the head on my shoulders, and not with the head I hold in my hand.   I will consider the ramifications of my actions before I engage in a sexual act.
I will ask for the woman’s age to make sure that a punishment for my possible actions can’t include prison.
I will think about ‘What if this is the worst piece of ass I’ve ever had.’
I will not let my Manhood determine my ‘Man’Hood.
I will exercise Caution.
I will exercise maturity.
I will think before I act."

<End of Oath>

OK…now…time to go to a shady motel, call up the Pimp that you have in your telephone Contact List, and see how far this Blog Post gets you!

Good Luck..and oh…you can re-take your seat and release your ‘Magic Johnson’ now.  

This entry was posted on Friday, May 7th, 2010 at 12:56 pm. It is filed under "Yo...check this out!", Ain't Nothin' Miscellaneous, Poetry and tagged with Accusations, Age, Beauty, Common, Consequences, Daily, Decision-Making, Difference, Football, Hall of Fame, Health, Lawrence, LT, Mistakes, Oath, Sense, Sex, STDs, Taylor, Under. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.